I’ve been back from the Ontario Vipassana Centre for two days now and am finally getting adjusted to being back. With the 349 emails that I had to filter through upon my return and so many other things that I had to get caught up on, it was a bit overwhelming.
Oh man, driving on that highway after meditating for 10 straight days was quite the trip, as well as experiencing the busy vibe of Toronto more and more as we reached the city. It was pretty trippy to say the least.
WOW. There are no words to describe it. What a gift. It was one of the best experiences of my life. I am a changed person now and all for the better.
June was a tough month for me. I’m so glad that it’s finally over.
The love of my life said goodbye to me just shortly after I arrived in Toronto and needless to say, it crushed me to hear the news. It came as a complete surprise. The pain that I experienced from that late night Skype conversation was more excruciating than I have experienced in many years. It’s always hard when you think that you’re going to spend the rest of your life with someone and then you suddenly discover that the beautiful dream you had in your mind of what was to come was so far from reality. And bad news never comes to us at a good time. It’s especially painful when one is on the road, is missing home and has no support system. Life is change, we all know that, but it doesn’t stop some of these changes from shaking our inner core to the point that we can’t eat, we can’t sleep and we can’t see anything good in life. I began to lose hope and felt totally lost. It wasn’t good.
And then came the Ontario Vipassana Centre. What a gift. I spent 10 days, meditating from 4:30am until 9pm, only stopping to eat and rest. I ate healthy and delicious meals, I had my own room with lots of privacy and the most magical nature right at my doorstep. It was inspiring and uplifting and at the same time, so painful and dark. When you can’t communicate or speak for that long, you are forced to deal with the darkest layers of your pain. The truth that you discover through the process can be hard to handle and so scary to see. It was probably one of the most difficult things I have ever had to face but because of it, I now feel that I can face anything that the universe throws my way. At the same time, it was also one of the most beautiful experiences that I have ever been a part of as I could see myself growing as a person by the minute. I am a different person now. Nothing I will write here can truly explain the magic of this experience. You’ve just got to experience it for yourself to understand and everyone’s journey is unique.
I wasn’t allowed to take pictures or video but I broke down on the last night, as we ended our noble silence and had a slumber party in the women’s dorm! This video is a little snapshot to give you glimpse of some of the special people I met that night. We were so excited and happy to be able to chat and were we ever full of the giggles. The conversations we had that night were so meaningful, some of the best conversations that I’ve ever had. it was so great to see each other’s smiles for the first time and hear everyone laughing. Such beautiful people. I feel like I am part of a wonderful family that I never knew I had.
One door closes and another door opens. Life is so beautiful that way.
And finding new love? Love can wait, until I meet someone who truly adores me, just as I am.